update, update...1...2..3...
Current mood: pensive
Category: Blogging

!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!

Anywho...My summer days have gone by quickly, it's already the end of June! Graduation seems like yesterday, or months ago, i can't tell. I have SO much on my mind. Everythin gseems a blur. I've been keeping busy at church (coffee bar, SCP , 180 , flight852 ) hanging out with friends, and (when i'm home and not watching tv) playing Dreamfall. Friday i hung out with Carmen a bunch, and played pool with somw 180ers. Last Saturday went on an awesome junk trip and got a funky sunburn on my back and shoulders because of my tankini...but had an awesome time in the sun, sand, and waves. LOL! It was my first junk trip that it didn't rain!! Sunday went to church morning and evening (had coffee bar duty in the evening) and afterwards went to watch the world cup England vs Equardor game (boring, but england won 1-0). Nate gave me a ride home in his funky little purple car. Monday i slept in til 2pm-ish and spent the afternoon watching movies until i headed to TST Chungking Mansions (dodgy place, but has good food) to have dinner at this tiny indian place with Kathryn, Anna, Jaime and Peter. Tuesday i was gonna go to the Vine but I felt ill so i stayed home, slepted, vegged and played Dreamfall. Wednesday (still kinda today for me) slept til 3pm, watched some TV showered and got ready for SCP but then had i run some errands, and go back home cause i had to drop some stuff off, so i was late. at SCP we talked about Identity...different aspects of it, bu the main point being that we all have an identity in Christ: that we are his chosen children, every person on earth.

...so that's what i did the past few days. but my mind has been on a different track. I've had three thought trains running through my head since last week: 1) my relationship with God  2) my plans for the future (tomorrow and beyond)  3)wondering when God is gonna reveal the man i'm gonna marry, and if i've already met him.

 I'll start by discussing #1: my relationship with God is fairly good. It's just that: fair. Not passionate, not on fire, not fantastic, not intimate. Honestly I'm struggling to make God my best friend...my mind just wanders and i catch myself again and again trying to figure life out on my own, trying to do things in my own strength...and in the end i can't; it then hits me like a ton of bricks that Jesus is standing right there next to me waiting.

#2 But that doesn't mean he's given me all the answers. I still don't know what will become of my life; what i will do and what God's plan is for me. I'm so confused, and i get lost in that confusion, and that's when my mind wanders.

#3 I've noticed myself more and more looking at the available guys at church and thinking 'hmm...could maybe it be him?' and putting them into catagories of  A. Absolutely NOT!!     B. good friendship/bro material  C. might say yes if they asked for a date    D. Crush! (plus C)   {btw, i'm not telling who is in A/B/C/D, but you should be able to tell the diff if you're smart}. I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but it's less confusing this way. I don't have any crushes at the moment. There are a few guys i've been getting vibes from, but all except one are in category A, and this one guy is leaving HK. Heck! I'm leaving HK too (YWAM/college)! I'm not desparate in any way, but I do want to get married by 25 and have 2+ kids by 30, and after Nikki had that vision of me with my children and they were laughing and happy cause I was the best mom ever, I must admit I pray alot for God to send/reveal my boyfriend/future husband to me so i have some one to love and grow old with, and to see this vision come to fruition. If any guy is reading this, it might scare you a alittle cause i'm only 18 and i haven't even been to college or anything. LOL, i've only had one boyfriend (that i dumped) and i'm still unkissed! I've kept myself pure and i keep telling God "I've been a goody-two-shoes, don't i deserve a reward?" But i just keep trusting that God has his own timing, and that's what is best for me, even if the waiting and wondering is unpleasent.  

So therefore, I wait and wonder, try and keep busy and worry about 1) and 2) more than 3). Friday 200 South Island School students are coming to visit the Vine at part of their religious studies class. I think it's gonna be awesome! I'm helping Jaime facillitate. And Friday night is Thirst, where Flight852 and 180 combine for a night of worship (every one 13-30 is invited). I'm singing on the worship team and giving a 2 min blurb about the awesome Jaime and Peter as it's their last night to lead youth cause Jaime's baby is due in 3 months the 30th is also Carmen's b-day, but were going to the beach on the 1st to celebrate. I'll try and keep this site updated, but we'll see how life goes. <3 

Currently Playing: Dreamfall: The Longest Journey Release date: By 17 April, 2006